soup that tastes great is souper
may i interest you in a bowl of canned u not
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
in 7th grade a teacher told us that if we ever want a part time job that we should get one at a golf course because that’s where all the rich men go and then she told us that’s how she met her rich boyfriend so i tell this to my mom every time she pressures me into getting a job and she thinks i’m kidding
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.